


Vampire boyfriend is unhappy with my diet. AITA?

by courante



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, M/M, Reddit Fic, this is an entire shitpost i'm so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23734393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/courante/pseuds/courante
Summary: matty_rere1.9k points · 16 hours agoCan you guys PLEASE stop fighting it's making doing anything in the office so extremely awkward. Also, ESH.ThrowawayTacos199092 points · 3 hours ago ·edited 1 hour agoMATT YOU HAVE NO LEG TO STAND ON YOU'VE BEEN STEALING FROM THE FRIDGE SINCE FOREVER.Edit: Well guess I will have to go put on my clown wig now
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Steven Lim
Comments: 14
Kudos: 46





	Vampire boyfriend is unhappy with my diet. AITA?

**Author's Note:**

> (me writing)  
> unfinished wips with actual plot: i sleep  
> whatever the fuck this nonsense is: REAL SHIT
> 
> cw: emetophobia, discussion of food shaming, discussion of (vampiric) feeding kink (?)  
> nothing explicit but please let me know if there's anything else i should warn for & thanks for reading this shitpost!! soz about the formatting but reddit fic is... so hard to format lmao lies down
> 
> everything below is a work of fiction and none of the usernames reflect any real people that may use or are using them at any point!

r/AmITheAsshole · Posted by u/ThrowawayTacos1990 19 hours ago

**Vampire boyfriend wants me to change my diet but I refused. AITA?**

Doing this on a throwaway because my boyfriend doesn’t read here but I’m fairly sure everyone else I know does. Also not sure if this is even the right way to go about it but I’m honestly just not in the right headspace right now so...

My boyfriend (vampire, 29M) and I (human, 29M) have been dating for around 8 months now. We work at the same office after leaving our previous place of employment together (the relationship didn’t affect this decision, it just had shitty management) along with my best friend. We’re not living together yet but have been vaguely making plans to sometime soon. Everything’s been great, he’s great, there’s just one thing…

You see, my boyfriend (let’s call him Stephanos) is a very fancy person. Like, insanely fancy. He drives a Tesla because he "cares about the environment” but I think he just likes showing off his car. Like, whatever, that’s cool with me.

It’s just, his _diet_. Not the fact that he drinks blood, but we recently signed a legal agreement about me being a VBD (we live in California.) Stephanos hasn’t had fresh human blood before, btw. He’s used to fancy bagged brands like Sanguine Classic and Erythros but I know fresh blood always tastes better, according to my research anyway. And it’s supposed to feel really awesome on my end too, but...

Last night I tried to let Stephanos drink from me for the first time and he almost _threw up_ afterwards. It made me feel really terrible at first because what if he’s allergic to something? But then he told me it’s because I eat so much fast food that my blood basically tastes like it. I felt a bit hurt and told him I’m not changing my diet since I never asked him to change his for me? Like, I don’t eat Taco Bell THAT much and it isn’t BAD. Seriously. I told him he could just keep doing the bagged stuff since that’s what he’s been having anyway. He agreed but said that I didn’t have to be an ass about it.

I texted my best friend afterwards and he said we’re both dumbasses. Stephanos hasn’t spoken to me all day and being in the office like this together is kinda awkward. So, AITA?

Update: I think he’s still mad tbh.

* * *

xavier429  1.9k points · 19 hours ago

why is your vampire boyfriend driving a tesla??? can’t he just fly??

analeeyvette 603 points · 18 hours ago

Um you forgot to rate... also OP, you’re NTA! Your diet is YOUR business, not Stephanos’, and if he’s been doing fine drinking bagged blood he could just continue doing that like you said. He shouldn’t be forcing you to change your diet so he could drink from /you/.

33hersheykisses 135 points · 14 hours ago

I don’t think the boyfriend was forcing OP to change his diet though?? The boyfriend just said OP’s blood tasted weird and didn’t like it, not that OP should stop eating at Taco Bell completely. Yeah throwing up might’ve been kind of a shocking reaction but sometimes our bodies just react like that. I’m leaning towards NAH here.

wagamaou 449 points · 19 hours ago

Oh my god Karen you can’t just ask vampires why they have cars

**12 more replies**

therm0pylae 1.3k points · 19 hours ago

INFO: did y’all have a serious talk about this beforehand, like at all? i just looked up the agreement y’all had to sign and it seems like a lot of medical hurdles to get through…

also this feels like it belongs more in r/RA but i will tentatively say NTA since your body, your rules. as a fellow vampire (don’t live in the US tho so laws are kinda different) it’s super important to know our boundaries with our SO’s in these situations! you also never specified if this was at your place or his since it would’ve been pretty iffy if it was at his place and you passed out or something. 

** ThrowawayTacos1990** 103 points · 2 hours ago

It happened at my place. And no, I’m not afraid of him taking advantage of me because he’s not like that, if that’s what you’re insinuating. He’s a swell guy. We did talk about it beforehand and I passed all the tests, but I’ll admit I didn’t read all the paperwork...

betty69 13 points · 1 hour ago

ngl this makes HIM sound like the AH since he was basically insulting the food you made him while in your home

EnergizerHare 3 points · 1 hour ago

Dude no offense but you really should be reading *everything* on agreements like that

tessandra score hidden · 57 minutes ago

...how did you pass any the tests if you, as per one of your other comments on this thread, posit that your bloodstream is 97% vodka and cheese.

samjohnson1 score hidden · 38 minutes ago

Dump his ass

greta_pyromaniac 1.1k points · 18 hours ago

Going against the grain here and saying YTA because your title doesn’t reflect the story at all. In your own words, Stephanos NEVER said he wanted you to change your diet, he just reacted negatively to the taste of your blood. Sounds like you’re insecure about that and trying to twist the story (adding all those little digs at his “fancy” taste) to make it seem like he made a bigger deal out of it than what actually happened.

rupaulstokyodrift 790 points · 17 hours ago

Idk man I feel like if you’re going that route it would be ESH, imo. OP’s best friend is right. He definitely overreacted and the title was worded badly but the boyfriend shouldn’t have reacted like that either (maybe pretended it tasted okay for OP’s sake but just not do it again?)

fingersinhisass 284 points · 14 hours ago

That… is a really bad idea lol. It’s not like eating badly cooked human food. If they’ve done it once and nobody complained one of them would definitely initiate again. Sometimes it’s not even about the hunger ;) (Source: am in vampire-human relationship, as well - notice what OP said about it feeling awesome, because it really is supposed to!)

h3yjud3 110 points · 13 hours ago

Definitely something someone with a username like fingersinhisass would say

fihasunday 38 points · 5 hours ago

Omg howd you get that username

kleinhardt 76 points · 8 hours ago

Yeah no offense OP but this sounds sus as hell… you’re telling me you’ve NEVER engaged in any blood shenanigans before signing this contract? You’ve been together for 8 months dude. Feels like this should’ve come up way sooner. Unless there’s something you’re not telling us?

telcopwr_19 146 points · 6 hours ago

Hey now you’re putting a LOT of assumptions on their relationship (one of them could be ace, or just not into that kind of stuff as a kink.) Don’t see how their sex life has anything to do with the problem at hand. I agree that OP hasn’t told us the whole story yet but this comment feels like projection.

comment removed by moderator 5 hours ago 3 children

 ** ThrowawayTacos1990** 58 points · 2 hours ago

You know what, that’s a good point. I guess I might’ve reacted a bit immaturely. Thanks for being straight with me man (does anyone know how to edit the post title? I’m not great at Reddit.)

r/relationship_advice · Posted by u/brittster 18 hours ago

**How do I get my bosses to make up with each other because they’re making the office hella awkward**

I work in a media startup and two of my three bosses are in a relationship (yes, really.) They had a fight a day ago over dietary issues and aren’t on speaking terms right now. It’s SUPER awkward because they’re both really nice people otherwise? Like, they're acting like everything is normal to us but also won’t talk to each other when we’re having meetings and it’s driving everyone nuts. 

I’ve heard (and seen firsthand now) they’re pretty competitive with each other. I’m thinking they may be dragging this out just because neither wants to apologize first… it wasn’t even a big issue from what I heard, but I could be wrong. I just want them to resolve this so we don’t have to tiptoe around them lol.

Any advice?

* * *

samha0o 231 points · 17 hours ago

Oh yikes thats a terrible thing to put employees through. Do they do this a lot? Because if so Id honestly tell you to start looking for a new job…

 ** brittster** 98 points · 7 hours ago

Nope I’ve never seen them act like this before. I don’t know what the actual issue is though, but it sounds like one of them made really bad food and the other flipped over it.

Also I really love working here so leaving is out of the question for now, I just hope it resolves soon lol.

yayoi_72 44 points · 6 hours ago

Yeah it shouldn’t be up to the employees to baby their bosses’ relationship issues lol. That is so childish (where is HR???)

xutrechtgirlx 28 points · 4 hours ago

OP is the third boss taking sides? Maybe talking to them will help

reichenbachluvrs 108 points · 13 hours ago

I was in a similar situation once, OP! Your bosses sound more reasonable than mine though - mine took it out on everyone else in the office. But the point you and other employees should hammer home is, it’s okay if they’re fighting, but the fight shouldn’t hamper the work you do. I’m assuming this is making your work harder, so let them know you’re having difficulty finishing your job because of the office environment. Don’t try to do more than that though since butting your head into their personal relationship probably will do more harm than good. Hopefully at least one of them will pull their head out of their ass and listen, good luck!

matty_rere 8 points · 1 hour ago

Oh my god you really posted this here huh

 ** brittster **score hidden · 28 minutes ago

Because you guys are no help!!

r/Vampire_Advice · Posted by u/Novembers_Coffeebean 6 hours ago

**[HVR] I think I offended my boyfriend…**

Not sure where to turn to for advice so here goes my first Reddit post.

I (V) think I offended my boyfriend (H) by telling him his blood doesn’t taste good? This happened a couple nights ago when I was over at his place. I’ve never had fresh blood (grew up in a pretty strict family, so bagged stuff only) and he’s never given blood before. We're both in our late 20s.

I felt pretty nervous about it going in because I thought it might hurt him…well it kind of did, just not the way either of us expected? His blood tasted really weird and my gag reflex kicked in. I didn’t _actually_ throw up, but it was pretty obvious that I didn’t like it. He smells pretty nice to me normally, but the taste was just really...off?

Here’s where I think I messed up: I told him it tasted like fast food. I know I really sound like an a-hole but I thought being honest was the better route to go. He doesn’t eat super healthy and I said I could taste that. He got mad and told me it’s not his fault. I know I’m not entitled to his blood or anything (we did sign a VBD contract recently, but it’s mostly for any legal issues that might come up since we may move in together soon) so that was fine with me. It’s just upsetting that he accused me of trying to insinuate that he should change his diet when that’s not what I said? I told him he could do whatever he wanted but it hurt that he saw me as someone like that :(.

We haven’t talked in two days. I feel really bad about it (we work in the same office and I’m sure everyone there knows we’re fighting by now) but I don’t want to apologize first either. What should I do?

P.S. Please let me know if I’m formatting this wrong!!

* * *

professor_emeritus_ashley [NV] 44 points · 4 hours ago

I think you should apologize to each other, the sooner the better. Yes, it might be hard (both of you sound incredibly stubborn), but that’s the first step to mending your relationship. He was wrong to jump to conclusions and accuse you of wanting to control his diet, but you could’ve told him you didn’t like how he tasted without insulting him or being judgmental of his choices.

Is there something else going on that might explain the reactions? I don’t advocate talking to your coworkers about it if they seem uncomfortable, so if you guys still won't talk to each other get a counselor involved maybe? Let him know you care about him and that you're just trying to have an open conversation. Hope this works out.

 ** Novembers_Coffeebean** 21 points · 2 hours ago

Those are good points! Yeah I thought about talking to this other coworker about it but he’s more of my boyfriend’s friend than mine. I don’t want to make the office more awkward and have people choose sides. That feels really unprofessional and silly. It’s probably going to suck but I suppose I will have to suck it up and talk to him. If that doesn’t work out we'll figure out something I hope. Thank you for the advice! :)

hippityhoppity [H] 31 points · 4 hours ago

How long have y’all been dating? Sounds like there’s some trust issues there I’d resolve quickly if I were you, OP. People don’t jump to conclusions like that if they don’t feel threatened in some capacity. Although, if you haven’t done anything to warrant that, he sounds like an asshole looking for a fight.

 ** Novembers_Coffeebean** 20 points · 2 hours ago

We’ve been dating for about 8 months now. He can kinda be a troll sometimes but it’s not really an issue. The only thing we’ve really fought about before this was basketball…

ghoulishes [V] 17 points · 2 hours ago

Basketball…?

 ** Novembers_Coffeebean** 11 points · 1 hour ago

He’s a Lakers fan :(

**20 more replies**

serenity343 [V] 29 points · 4 hours ago

OP do you have any allergies? You mentioned you’ve never had fresh blood before. Certain blood types may contain vamp-specific allergens when ingested directly from the source (there’s links on the sidebar explaining this). Maybe you should get that checked out, since it can be actually dangerous if your body can’t handle it medically D:

 ** Novembers_Coffeebean** 15 points · 2 hours ago

Thanks for the heads up, I’ll check it out! That being said, I don’t think I’m allergic to anything? The doctors didn’t find anything weird in my boyfriend’s blood (we both had to do a lot of tests for the contract) either.

y0landajean [V] 26 points · 4 hours ago · _edited 3 hours ago_

This actually happens more often than you'd think! Someone posted a similar problem like last week or something (Edit: check it out here.) Something with a recessive gene that makes people smell dfferent than they taste. Of course diet would alter the taste of one's blood too, but maybe something worth looking into?

 ** Novembers_Coffeebean** 12 points · 2 hours ago

That's interesting! Thanks for the info, but like I said in another comment I'm not sure this is the cause. I'll have to talk to him either way since the issue isn't really why it tastes funny to me. I'll take another look at my medical records though.

kazunomiya [NV] 24 points · 3 hours ago

op how important is feeding to ur sex life

 ** Novembers_Coffeebean** 13 points · 2 hours ago

Uh…what?

kazunomiya [NV] 4 points · 1 hour ago

oh well idk about u guys but since a lot of hvr couples (not to generalize or anything) get off on that it sounded like he might’ve been hurt at not being able to “perform” to ur expectations if u catch my drift

adamdriversleftarm [H] 11 points · 2 hours ago

This is such an invasive question lol

r/AmITheAsshole · Posted by u/ThrowawayTacos1990 3 hours ago

**UPDATE: Vampire boyfriend wants me to change my diet but I refused. AITA?**

Original Post.

Hi Reddit! Quick update about the situation, not sure if it's necessary but anyway. So, I read all of your comments and realized I probably jumped the gun a little during that argument. I may have misconstrued Stephanos’ words because of my self-esteem. I guess I did feel pretty bad about letting him down and took it out on him, which wasn’t cool.

We ended up having a talk after work today at the office, neutral territory and all that. Wasn’t really on planning it like that to be completely honest because I thought he had something to do, but then I overheard him telling another coworker it was postponed. 

Anyway, I told him I was sorry that I misjudged him and he told me he was sorry for reacting badly, as well. Hugged it out on the couch. We kind of have a compromise now where he said he’d cook for me (he’s a great cook) if/when he wants to feed off me. This was his offer btw, and I'll try to look after my body more too. I think things are cool now? Guess that’s the end of this thrilling saga for you all.

Edit: No we did NOT fuck on the couch afterwards and there was no office feeding involved. Taco Bell still rocks. And yes I've seen that article, it's funny but you guys can stop DMing it to me now.

* * *

jungk00kz 156 points · 3 hours ago

Ahhh im glad this worked out for you! didn’t follow the initial post too closely but it’s nice to see people admit their fuckups on this sub (soooo many people don’t do that even when they’re voted TA and come back to update orz.)

heyomayo 109 points · 3 hours ago

Still not sure i agree with the verdict so MY verdict is: you are NTA but taco bell sucks.

daugavpils 29 points · 1 hour ago

stop bullying op smh

sasharamirez 18 points · 1 hour ago

Shut up you eat at arbys

s_castro7 84 points · 2 hours ago

Oh good I just took a nap on that couch today and I’d have killed you if you’d fucked there.

brittster score hidden · 28 minutes ago

Lmaoo same

 ** ThrowawayTacos1990** score hidden · 17 minutes ago

How the fuck are you guys finding this post???? How do I block people on Reddit

fingersinhisass score hidden · 48 minutes ago

...Oh my god.

heyjohnny 41 points · 2 hours ago

Lol Buzzfeed stole yalls story: https://www.buzzfeed.com/mariawiliams/vampire-boyfriend…

glaistiggurrl 32 points · 2 hours ago

I love how all of the comments there are about the tesla and not any of the wild ass feeding kink speculations in the original thread

waluigistits 3 points · 1 hour ago

...the What

professor_emeritus_ashley 13 points · 1 hour ago

Truly, the height of irony.

goatman_entrapment 7 points · 1 hour ago · _edited 37 minutes ago_

I don’t get what’s ironic about it?? Doesn’t bf steal stuff all the time

Eta: wait a fuckin minute

matty_rere score hidden · 45 minutes ago

LMAO

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to top 5 beatdown and that one ww where steven said he's sure ryan would not feel bad cooking something nasty for him if ever presented with the opportunity


End file.
